You know what sucks? Being in love with someone who is so unatainable. Ugh I just wish I could tell him everthing. It would make it really weird though. I mean I tell him everything that goes on in my life. He probably thinks very little of me anyways. I always jump from relationship to relationship. But everytime I’m with a guy all I can think about is him. Even though I deny it and I convince myself im in love with these guys, I’m not. I only want him..fuck. But he has a girlfriend. She probably loves him and he probably has fallen in love with her. She has everything I want…I don’t even know her and I despise her and I’m completely envious of her. I guess she makes him happy and everything like that. I bet she’s beautiful. Probably prettier than me. Skinnier too. Of course, everyone is. Why wouldn’t he go for someone who is beautiful. He’s amazing and I guess he deserves someone amazing. Wow. How could I even think I had a chance. Fuck. I’m hurt completely inside. Everytime I hear him talk about her I die inside. My soul is just crushed. I want to be the girl he talks about. But Ha. That will never be me. Im just….me. Shes got him. Guess I lose again. I just want to see him just once. Pour my heart out to him and hope he’ll leave her. But she doesn’t deserve that. Especially the way I want it. I want her to be crushed and I just want him to choose me. Me. Not her. I want to be able to just look into his eyes and have him notice I want him. I just want to be a thought in his mind. But he probably only thinks of disgust. Fuck. I only jump relationships so that I don’t feel that lonely feeling. So that I can get over him. I must get so annoying. I constantly cry to him about boyfriends when he probably doesn’t care about that because I make the same mistakes over and over. I just wish he would choose me….but I guess he’s happy and I have to accept it. I guess we always want what we just cant have. He’ll just be another shooting star, wishy flower and 11:11. I’m uncertainly heartbroken.

I dislike when people go into relationships thinking and or hoping to “Change” their significant other. First of all, if you “Love” them, you love them for who they are, not who you want them to be. You love them for all their mistakes, their flaws, their everything. You don’t look down upon them hoping to manipulate them into your perfect manifestation of a partner.

midnightpetrova:

• I WISH I GOT MESSAGES SOMETIMES
• I like to answer peoples questions
• even if they think they’re stupid and not important
• so many blogs get irritated by questions but I don’t

(Source: ianslooch)