I have a huge ego. I am secretly a ninja. In my free time Im a unicorn Tamer in Mexico. I run an underground operation where we illegally trade pixi sticks for tacos. Dont mess with me. I know people. who know the seven dwarfs and the talking rats from Cinderella. So yeah. Watch your back.
The name's Bond, James Bond. The real name is Emily. Boring right? I'm a fun person so talk to me. Don't worry I don't bite. I mean seriously those teenage girls need to learn they are not Vampires.
Me: "Mom how do I start out a suicide letter"
My mom: "Go on and on about how good I was so they don't think it was my fault"
Nobody ever believes me when I tell them I don’t have a bellybutton. I really don’t, guys. That’s not something I would lie about.
Sex is just sex. It’s a leisure activity. Not something that makes a “stronger bond” not something to “prove your love” stop making it out to be more than what it is. It’s simple fun, nothing more, nothing less. It’s not “special” its two people enjoying a nice little intamacy.